Letter to Heaven
I can't believe it's been 16 years since we said goodbye. Has it really been that long? I wanted to take a minute today to share with you all the great things you helped me accomplish in the last 16 years so grab a drink, have a seat and enjoy :)
First and foremost, I have the most precious little girl ever imaginable. I sometimes think about how much you would adore her if you were here. She is smart and funny and has such an amazing personality about her. She has beautiful red hair and we get compliments all the time about how absolutely adorable she is. She is mischevious and saucey and so full of spice! I know you are sitting there laughing at me right now saying "yea, I wonder where she gets that from????" I know she "knows" you. I know she feels your presence and she is always surrounded by your love and protection. I believe you have been guiding her and protecting her through all of the troubles she has encountered in her life so far and I know you will continue to do so and I thank you for that. She has a picture of you in her bedroom and she kisses it every night and says goodnight to her Grandpa Lionel. I always want her to know how very special she is to you, even if she never got the chance to meet you in person.
Of course you also know that I am married, yes, for the second time, lol. You would have a lot of fun with Steve, poking fun at him, making him squirm for your approval, all the things you so lovingly do best! Mom gave him your eagle ring for his birthday this year. He was shocked and honoured that she entrusted him with such a special memento and he wears it with pure pride. He is a good man, he works hard, treats us well and he loves us to pieces.
I have changed careers and I am now selling Real Estate. I'm sure you just spit out your drink when heard that. After 18 years in the electrical industry I am now a selling homes! Who would have ever thought that? I love the business, I love the people and I love that it is allowing me the opportunity to give back and be a part of so manygreat events for worthwhile causes. I will be volunteering for the Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer Event on Septemeber 29th and I couldn't be more proud to be a part of something that I know you would feel so connected to.
I am still the best of friends with Danni! Danni had such a special place in your heart, didn't she? She is one of the kindest souls I know and I am honoured that she has allowed me to remain a part of her life for so many years. She is such a huge part of my life and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her in it. She makes me want to be a better person, I don't always succeed, but the effort is there lol.
I speak of you often and think of you always. I share many stories about you with people explaining how you taught me so much and shaped who I am today through your ways. Even though at the time I know I didn't appreciate it lol. You taught me to work hard, that everything I want I have to earn and that life was not going to be handed to me on a silver platter. You taught me to not take life too seriously and to remember to play hard as well. You taught me to always be me and to stand up for what I believed in. Through your example you taught me what true courage, determination and strength were.
I hope I make you proud. When I accomplish something, big or small, I can almost here you whisper "that's my girl".
I miss you, I love you, I thank you.
Lionel Sydney Jessop
10/26/42 - 9/17/96
Take nothing for Granted
Picking up where my previous blog left off...
We were surrounded by family and friends when we reached Sick Kids hospital. People who loved us, who loved our little girl. It's always amazing to see how quickly people rally together out of sheer unconditional love.
We waited ever so (im)patiently to see our baby girl and they finally called us down to see her around midnight. We watched them do an echocardiogram as our precious little angel lie there quietly, peacefully, hopefully dreaming of angels and rainbows and butterflies. There was a team of doctors and nurses in and out of her room and we told her "story" over and over and over again as they tried to determine what caused our baby to be so sick. After spending some time by her side and being reassured that she was stable we made our way to our tiny little family sleeping room to get some rest.
The next day Jaidyn's health had improved dramatically. The breathing tube was taken out and she was given oxygen support for a few hours and then she was transferred to her own room where we could stay with her. It was amazing to see her turn around so quickly and it felt so good to be able to hold her and feed her and rock her again. We hadn't held our little girl for 2 days... words could not
describe how great it felt to hold her in my arms again and kiss her beautiful
They continued diagnosing her and she underwent an esophegal test on the Monday morning and they're suspicion was confirmed that Jaidyn has a condition called SVT (surpa ventricular tachycardia). A condition where her heart has an extra electrical pathway causing it to go into tachycardia. They prescribed medication, monitored her for another day and then sent us on our way.
What a week!
After everything we had been through previously I don't think we ever took our baby girl for granted. We knew what a precious gift she was from the moment we saw those beautiful 2 pink lines on the pee stick. But this week seemed to remind us of all the little day to day things we may not have thought about. Holding her in our arms, 2am feedings, 5am feedings lol, hearing the sound of her cry.
We count our blessings every day.
Today Jaidyn is a happy and healthy 14 month old who is the light of our lives. She is loving, smart and funny and so full of personality.
To anyone who may be reading this, take nothing for granted. Squeeze your kids more, let the housework wait and listen to their laughter, soak in their smiles and love and cherish the little things.
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words...
At the Blink of an Eye
One year ago today my baby girl was 7 weeks old. We had a fabulous photographer (http://www.devonpetersphotography.com) coming to take her "newborn" photos in the afternoon and life was good. We were tired but so very happy to have our little girl in our lives. For the first time she slept for 8 full hours through the night and I remember how thrilled I was to get some good solid sleep!
I fed her her morning bottle and almost immediately she vomited the entire bottle back up and then was hungry again so I fed her some more which she kept down. She then went back to sleep and slept a few hours until her Daddy got home for our afternoon photo shoot. Little did I know what lay in store for us in the next couple of days.
Our precious little peanut was placid and sleepy and we got some really great shots of her curled up in baskets, snuggled in a sling and my all time favourite, stretched out on Daddy's arm. Exhausted from her afternoon of fame she ate and slept well again in the afternoon.
I has just finished making dinner and Steve fed Jaidyn a bottle and once again she vomited the entire contents back up. It was this time that we noticed her breathing seemed a little "off" to us. We counted and timed her breaths which seemed normal and then I proceeded to call Telehealth to seek some expert advice. After running through the symptoms and Jaidyn's behaviour with us the nurse suggested we go to emerg, and her words were "sooner than later". With dinner left on the counter and rushed attempt at packing the diaper bag we headed out to the hospital in Orangeville.
We arrived and Jaidyn was assessed by the triage nurse and when we took her
clothes off to weigh her the nurse noticed a deep indraw under Jaidyn's rib cage when she was taking a breath in and it sparked enough concern that they decided to admit her. We spent the night with Jaidyn in her room as she received oxygen from a machine whose alarm sounded all night and drove us a little loopy. lol. The next day the pediatrician arrived in the morning to assess the situation and started running various tests to see what was causing the laboured breathing. Chest Xray, upper GI Xray, blood tests, all were clear. It was a bit of a mystery but Jaidyn otherwise seemed fine. She was eating and she didn't have a fever, her saturation levels were good, her only symptom was some listlessness and the deep indraw under her rib cage. The investigation and treatments at this point were pretty calm and relaxed and everyone was pretty calm and relaxed, although perplexed lol.
Dr. Murphy decided we would try a Ventolin treatment through a mask in case there was some constriction in her airway, hopefully this would open things up. Her first treatment went well but her condition didn't change. During the second Ventolin treatment things took an entirely different turn and it was the beginning of a nightmare that had us heartbroken and helpless in the hallways of Orangeville Hospital.
I sat snuggling my precious little monkey with an IV in her scalp in her hospital room administering the Ventolin treatment prescribed by the doctor and as she lay in my arms the monitor that she was hooked up to measuring her oxygen levels and heartrate suddenly alarmed. I looked to the machine which had been alarming falsely all night and her oxygen levels took a dive and her heartrate plummeted. I yelled for Steve to hit the nurses button and get a nurse right away. Dr. Murphy was out in the hallway and him and a team of nurses rushed in, got Jaidyn on the bed and at this time the panic and urgency of the situation set in. We left the room and sat outside watching people rush to and from her room for what seemed like hours. Dr. Murphy rushed in and out and for the first time he wouldn't make eye contact with us, he wasn't his usual calm and placid nature, he was worried. After what seemed like an eternity Dr. Murphy came out to us and said "you have a very sick baby". Although he still didn't know what was wrong, he had consulted with Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto and had arranged for an emergency transport team to come and get our sweet little angel to try and figure out what was wrong.
When we walked back into Jaidyn's room our hearts sank as we saw her with a tube down her throat lying there helpless. She was a feisty little thing even at that age as she continuously tried to pull at her breathing tube. We stroked her and snuggled her and waited for the transport team to arrive.
Here we thought things couldn't get any worse at this point. Just before the team from Sick Kids arrived Dr. Murphy noticed the monitor was picking up a rapid heart rate. He immediately listened with his stethoscope and then sent a nurse for some ice. He placed a baggy of ice on Jaidyn's tiny little head and once again, it seemed things were getting suddenly more critical. The team from Sick Kids arrived and when they walked in Dr. Murphy immediately explained that there was a bigger issue that needed to be dealt with because Jaidyn was in Tachycardia. They hooked up additional monitors to her and we watched in horror as the doctor took the baggy of ice and smashed it into our precious little babies face while saying to us (this isn't going to be pleasant but it is necessary). We couldn't watch any more and we quickly left the room and sat outside her door once again listening to urgent phone calls and watching nurses rush in and out of her room getting meds and running tests. The entire situation felt surreal. Why was this happening to our baby girl? I made pleas to my daddy, her guardian angel, to take care of her and keep her safe. Our hearts sank as we heard them call "all clear" several times and we knew that they were defibrillating our tiny little peanut. Once they had her stabilised and ready for transport we were able to go in and see her.
Our tiny, precious little baby who we fought so hard to bring into this world, lay there lifeless in an isolette, hooked up to more machines than I could count with a breathing tube, iv's and an empty stare. We kissed her and said we'll see you soon (no goodbyes) and watched them wheel her away from us to the awaiting ambulance to be rushed to the greatest hospital on earth.
At the blink of an eye our lives were changed. We were living a parents worst nightmare with a critically ill baby and no answers in sight. We were numb and terrified and thanks to the Mario Andretti driving skills of my sister, arrived downtown Toronto in record time, actually beating the ambulance there. We were panicked to know how Jaidyn was doing after being away from her for an hour and thankfully we bumped into the transport paramedics in the hallway who informed us that Jaidyn was still stable and she had no further episodes during the drive down.
The next few hours while we waited in the waiting room to see our sick little girl seemed to take a lifetime...
A little bit about me!
Well I have been filling my blog entries with real estate tidbits and investment strategies and I thought it was time to share a little bit about me. Everyone loves to peek inside other peoples lives now and then don't they?? My life has always been an open book, ask and I shall tell. I am honest and forthcoming and over the years I have even learned to be somewhat "politically correct" when need be, but direct and honest with a dash of sarcasm is much more my style!
Where to start... I will be 40 this year! Yikes - how on earth did that happen?? I'm actually really looking forward to it. I have always LOVED my birthday, just ask my friends, I usually have a countdown leading up to the "day the world became a better place", yes that's how I refer to my birthday! lol. I have been warning my husband for the past few years that he better throw me the most spectacular surprise party ever for my 40th! I even went as far as to request Duff from Ace of Cakes to make and deliver my cake. Ok, I know it's a stretch but a girl can dream can't she?? Send me a message and I'll be sure to make Steve put you on the invite list!!
What else... I have a beautiful daughter who just turned 13 months old! She is an absolute joy and came to us after many years of struggling with infertility. We faced a scare with her when she was 7 weeks old and spent a week at Sick Kids Hospital (greatest hospital on earth!) and she was diagnosed with a heart condition called SVT (Supraventricular Tachycardia) where she has an accessory pathway in her heart causing it to go tachycardic (fast/racing heartbeat). She takes meds daily and she will be having some tests done in August to see if she has outgrown the condition and we can hopefully take her off her meds. She is such a trooper and has defied all odds to get here so I am convinced that she is going to find the cure for cancer when she's older - she was sent here for a much greater purpose than to make me happy. She has had angels guiding her long before we met her and I know they keep her safe every day.
Honourable mention... of course I must mention my loving husband. He has been a huge support for me when I decided to go back to school to get my real estate licence and he really is my biggest fan! I owe him a huge amount of gratitude for always believing in me and standing by me while we venture down this new path of our lives. Don't tell him I said so though, it'll go to his head. lol.
My BFF... I think you can tell a lot about a person by looking at the types of friendships they build over the years. I met my BFF (ok really - I'm almost 40 and using the acronym BFF!!) when I worked my first job ever at Wendy's when I was 13 years old. Funny thing is, we didn't really like each other at first! lol. But here we are 27 years later, still the very best of friends. She is my rock. When I need to vent or cry or laugh, she is there. My life would not be complete without her in it.
So that's a snippit of me and my life. I approach most things in life with a sarcastic sense of humour and flare for having a good time. I don't take life too seriously and I don't sweat the small stuff!
So now that you know a little bit more about me... can I sell your house for you today???? LOL!
Who am I?
I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and in my spare time I help people buy and sell their homes :)